i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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