nut hugger
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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