hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
