Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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