I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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