that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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