I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
