"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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