Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
