Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
