i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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