we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
