I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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