I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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