ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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