New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
