i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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