PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
