Nicole vs. Life
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
