then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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