this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this boner is exhausting
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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