i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
