Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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