Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
