I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
