On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
