guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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