you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
