Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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