her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
