he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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