One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
