I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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