My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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