i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
