dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
