every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
