the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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