this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize