I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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