brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
