I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
