so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
