Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
