we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
