This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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