I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
