I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
