So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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