So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
