His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
